Tuesday, May 23, 2017

A day in the life of Celina. *VIDEOS*


    Hey Everyone! We are now post activation and everything's going pretty good! I have a ton of updates for many different things from follow up specialist appointments.

   First things first! Cochlear activation!! The morning started off stressful!!! We left at 6:30 am for St Paul for her appointment was at 8. So for a usual 50 min drive, there should be plenty of time to get there, figuring in traffic right? WRONG! We were a half an hour late and picked the wrong parking ramp to park in. we had to run through the hallways of 3 connected hospitals to get to where we needed to be. We were literally RUNNING! at one point we got lost in the maze and I just sat down and cried. a loud ugly cry lol. (I'm completely embarrassed now thinking about it) I thought for sure they would no longer take us being we were so late. Luckily, they still did! So to start off they hooked Celinas receiver device to the computer, and explained they were going to start sending beeps and tones through at to see what paths (from ear to brain) were firing and which weren't. They started with high pitch sounds and would then do some lower pitched sounds. For Celina it was excruciating. She screamed the entire time. We kept taking breaks but every time we started again she would instantly start crying. I just wanted to stop. I was sweating, She was sweating, we were trying everything to get her comfortable. We had to keep going because it was the only way to get a map of her brain, to know what areas to turn on at what decibels in order to even get the device activated in the correct program. So for celina hey found what areas were working and what areas were not. The areas where it was not working for celina, they were able to go through different pathways to get the entire range of sound to understand speech. These are called speech sounds and are the sss, eee, ooo, aaah, and shh sounds. without being able to hear these sounds, understanding spoken language is extremely difficult.
   So after we completed the mapping with the computer (during the mapping, they had the microphone on her device turned off so she could only hear what was coming from the computer, she couldn't hear us or anything else in the room), she turned her cochlear mic on at what we would consider normal volume where she could hear us talk to her. The first voice she heard was Ryan saying her name. She looked up at the ceiling and then started crying all over again. So her Audiologist turned it all the way down and slowly turned it up as we were talking to celina. When celina started crying we knew the volume was too high and went back to the previous volume right before, and set that as her first program. We got a remote with her cochlear where you can have different programs you can set. Once people have finished their mapping, this is used for different situations. Like if you're listening to a lecture in class or something, there's a different setting that will eliminate background noise and that sort of thing. But for right now, when we start, we use it for mapping. So what the audiologist does is set all 4 programs with Celina's map, but each one a little louder. So we started at 1 and over the weeks have been turning it up a program as she tolerates it. Celina has done very well with this. In just a few days she was at 4 with no signs of her being uncomfortable or flinching. Later this week we go get 4 new programs to keep turning up! They do it slowly like this so its not such a shock to their systems, and they don't grow to hate sound.
   We've definitely noticed her hearing some sounds. She looks up at the ceiling because she doesn't understand where the sound is coming from. The first day, after we got home she heard my brother in law talking with his deep voice and just kept looking up and around and just giggling! It was the most heartwarming thing! She seems to  hear deep low sounds best, tho the other day I jingled some bells and she seemed to hear them. Hearing is also completely exhausting if you've never done it before. The first and second day Celina took 5 hr naps! She didn't nap much before this, but now she naps everyday!
  So Celina got the Kanso device as her main device and the N6, a typical behind the ear as a backup device. The Kanso is an all in one device where the microphone and everything are all in one magneted to the side of her head. Awesome! for adults or older kids maybe? For celina its just not the right fit right now. maybe when she's older and walking, but right now its just a pain. Celina is a sensory seeker. She sensory seeks through her head and head bangs everything from my face to the floor. Her favorite position is laying on her back, also knocks it off, and she rubbs her head on the floor as she crawls.  This thing Is CONSTANTLY falling off! So at the next appointment they are going to turn on her back up processor and will probably use that until shes older. The N6 doesn't have as much weight on the magnet and is ore flat whereas the Kanso it thick and bulky. Also the behind the ear part of the N6 can be easily held up with a headband, or can even be clipped to her shirt. So hopefully next week will be a bit easier and I won't be reconnecting her CI every 2 minutes.


Here are some links  for videos from her activation!
https://youtu.be/OGixcMph5FU - During her mapping
https://youtu.be/rkvcRy76NbQ - First time hearing dad
https://youtu.be/BRn3FtCRGAw - hearing us talk to her!


   Celina also had her follow up swallow study last week. I was really hoping we could be done with thick it at some point in the near future. Celina is on Honey thick liquids. Right below that is nectar thick, and below that is regular liquids. So at the study they said they were going to only test nectar given they know she already does fine on honey. Well she failed nectar so bad they wanted to test honey all over again. Thankfully she still passed honey but I thought after over a year on this there would be some improvement. Unfortunately there's not a whole lot they can do but keep her on the thick it until shes able to not aspirate on thinner liquids. I'm unable to even give her fruit that has a lot of juices, like watermelon, mandarin oranges etc. due to her aspirating the juices. So unfortunately we just wait.

   Celina had her followup ophthalmology appointment as well, And next week she will be getting glasses! Nothing detrimental. But glasses nonetheless. Dr. told me hes always so shocked when he looks in her eyes and sees how much her colobomas touch, yet she does sooo well with her existing vision. This made me feel so much better! They are also putting transition lenses on her glasses where the lenses will get darker when she goes in the sun. This is because of her colobomas. The sun really hurts her eyes, so hopefully this will help! The thing I worried about is how Im supposed to keep all this gear on her head! One cochlear, One hearing aid (they want her to wear her left just in case they find a nerve) And glasses. Eii yi yiii! Wish me luck guys!

   Scoliosis! Celina had a follow up with them as well, and you guys!! I amazed!!! Her spine is looking sooo much better! Almost straight!! Turned out it was her muscles not the spine itself. Her muscles on her left side of her body were so weak she couldn't hold that side of her body up. They showed me the X-rays next to each other and i'm just amazed!! I give huge credit to her therapists who have been working so hard to get her strength up. And of course to miss Celina who works so hard in therapy. Needless to say I'm happy!!! Couldn't ask for better news!!! Things are starting to look up! I think were done finding out new, hard to take, diagnosis'. And the things that can hit during adolescence Im prepared for. Not saying they will be easy, I just at least know what can possibly be coming vs. being in the dark and having it come out of nowhere. I just hope things stay looking up! Its a good feeling after being terrified not knowing what could be next for almost 2 years strait. We've come so far!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Post op updates


    Hey guys!  I may sound like a broken record to those of you who follow me on social media as well as here. Anyways surgery went well. I was able to calm myself the day before and the day went relatively smooth. After surgery in post op her O2 stats kept dropping and she had to go on oxygen, but they were able to  get it under control. This worries me a little about the next surgery (she will be having a few more on her lip, heart etc.) But the soonest surgery will be the end of this summer so I don't need to worry quite yet. With CHARGE and surgery, they have found each surgery becomes more and more risky. This was her first complication, small thank goodness but a complication nonetheless. So with what's stated above its why im so concerned for the next. In this surgery they also lasered her lip and replaced her left ear tube at the same time. We were sent home with a bag full of meds. They accidently had us putting drops in the ear they put a tube in vs. the surgery ear. 3 days post op her surgery ear was gushing blood and dripping down her arm so we brought her in. Turns out we were supposed to be putting the drops in the surgery ear! ugh! anyways glad it was an easy fix! Celina was a little feisty and clingy out of surgery. Which was to be expected. There were some days I couldn't put her down at all. Its like she would get a look of  panic and cling desperately and try to climb up my legs to be back in my arms. I felt so bad! Needless to say I had quite a sore arm and neck for a while. Not to mention nothing got done. Anyways! Today shes doing great!! May 5th we have her post op to get cleared for activation, and may 11th we get to turn this baby on!!! So excited!! the weeks seem to be dragging! I cant wait to see her react to all her toys when she realizes they all make noise! It'll be like she got a whole bunch of new ones!
   So with cochlear's there comes speech therapy and brain mapping. Her activation day they will be doing a bit of the mapping, and then again on the 25th of may. we will be doing Speech once a week in the cities as well. We also had some outpatient PT (physical therapy) and OT (occupational therapy)  Evaluations. Some of the results were hard to see. Celina is on the level of a 7 month old in some areas and a 9 month old in others. Needless to say we will be adding both OT 2X a week and PT 2X a week to what we already have. Thats 8 sessions a week! Kind of makes you wonder when shes supposed to just act like a kid. At the same time tho I understand why its needed. We hope to get this girl walking by the end of the year! Id be happy with her even standing independently. Speeking of standing, we're waiting on her to do that in order to get a good x-ray of her spine to get an exact on how bad her scoliosis is. So I'm really pushing for it. Anyways!! Thats all I have for now! Thank you everyone so so so much for your thoughts and prayers! and thank you for including Ryan, Eli and I in them as well. We needed them as well! My next update should be a video of Celina getting her CI turned on! Stay tuned! :)
After surgery

She hated her headwrap
Before surgery

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Waiting on Tomorrow.


      Tomorrow is here. Tomorrow is the day! Celina goes into surgery for her implant. So incredibly nervous, excited, sad, giddy, all the emotions balled up into one person. I don't know if I should laugh, cry hysterically or both. I cant do either or anything for that matter. Trying to get things done I end up walking aimlessly in circles around my house. My nerves are at end. The feeling of nausea has turned to actual vomit. So I'll take to writing instead. Im literally shaking. The tears are creeping thru occasionally. I don't know if they are happy or sad. I guess it doesn't matter. They're just there. Where is my strength? My faith? I desperately need it. I've had it every other time shes gone under. Why does is this time so hard? Celina's entire world is going to change. Just by one little sense,
that we all have, being turned on.

    Celina goes into surgery tomorrow morning at 7:45 am. Due to her CHARGE Syndrome and the anatomy of her inner ear being so messed up, they have allotted a little over 5 hrs for her surgery. One that usually takes 2hrs for a typical child. 4hrs for both sides in a typical child being implanted. They have 2 doctors performing the surgery. Again a typical surgery would only have one. Only 2 people are allowed by her bedside at a time. Those visiting will have to take turns. Im lucky to have family members of mine and Ryan's coming to support us during the surgery. I need this support. Im going to need the distraction as we sit and wait for 5hrs. If anyone would like to come sit with us, you are absolutely welcome. Eli will not be allowed in her room. No kids under 5 due to cold and flu season. Eli has an awesome auntie B who is going to get him off to school and then after bring him to come wait with us. I'm so thankful. I know he would be restless sitting in a waiting room for 5 hrs. This way Ill have my Eli to snuggle with for a part of the time, and he doesn't have to sit and wait with us for so long. Always hard for little boys full of energy. Also we will be sent home that day if everything goes well. I had originally been told it was an overnight stay. Going home so soon makes me nervous. As a friend pointed out, she can't communicate if she's feeling off. I would feel so much more comfortable staying, Just in case. I think I'm going to pack an overnight bag anyway and voice my concern to the doctor. Also due to Celina being on thickener for her liquids, she won't be able to even drink anything past 10pm the night before. This is because they consider thickener in her liquids a 'solid food'. I'm going to have one cranky baby tomorrow.

   I'm in a fantastic CHARGE group on Facebook. A few of them actually. Where we are able to ask questions, vent frustrations, ask for prayers, give updates etc. It seems lately we have lost so many little CHARGE babies and children in our group. Not long ago one was due to complications after an implant surgery. This hits so close.  Please pray. If you don't pray, just think of us please.

    We got back from A wonderful vacation this week! It was a perfect distraction. Both Eli and Celina loved it. No better way to calm the nerves than the beach and sun. I don't think I thought about her surgery until the way home. I mean I thought about it, but just in quick passing. No nerve jangling thoughts. But! Now the day is nearly here and there's no avoiding the nerves. Writing this has helped immensely. The nerves have subsided to a small jitter vs. a large quake. There is strength in numbers. The more people thinking of us and praying for us the better. And I know soon, when I post this, many of you will be. And I can feel your thoughts and prayers. I really can. It comes in waves of strength. Gods will be done.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Its Been a While. UPDATES

    Hey all!! I know its been quite a while since my last update so I'll try to fill in. Celina Had quite an eventful cold & flu season. The hospital staff joked we should just pack up and move in. We're there so often (also its a small hospital) That were on first name bases now. First she was Rushed to the ER by ambulance due to seizures and losing consciousness. We discovered she was having febrile seizures and had pneumonia. Definitely one of the scariest moments of my life! Then a week later she was sick with RSV. They initially wanted to admit us to stay in the hospital, But given were 10 min from the hospital I was able to convince them to send us home with a nebeulizer (sp?) and equipment. I was a little nervous, but given how much a hospital stay disrupts all of our routines, Ryan needing to take of work to watch Eli, Eli missing school due to being there so late, Celina being bored out of her mind and antsy etc, I felt this was our better option. I was one stressed out mamma for a good while. And my little Eli. I think he's starting to feel a little pushed aside. The day after one of the hospital stays, Eli was in the bathroom and yelled to me, "Mom! Im sick!! I need a doctor Mamma!!" It was one of the cutest yet heartbreaking things ever! Feeling like he needs to be sick to get attention. Instead of getting him a doctor per his request, I asked him if he would like to snuggle up together on the couch until he 'felt better'. Low and behold it worked like a charm, and an hour later he wast even sick anymore! 😄 Now I'm trying a little harder to divide my attention evenly. It doesn't seem like it would be, But its easier said than done. Its so easy to get consumed in the stress of a medically complex child. Always waiting and ALWAYS watching. Celina's Spurts seem to spring up out of nowhere. The day she was rushed via ambulance was just a normal day. she started vomiting again and its so normal now because she does it so often that I didn't think much of it. Then her eyes rolled back and Instantly I knew something was wrong. How am I supposed to keep my eye on her 100% of the time? What if i had not been looking directly at her when that happened and she choked on her vomit? How do I do this parenting thing fairly and correctly?? Only time and experience will tell I suppose.😩

   Anyways!! On to the good news!!! I think its for real this time!! Over the past few months, Celina's Cochlear team has called a few times to say we could move forward with the surgery. Only to have them push it back over and over again, waiting on this or that. It was extremely frustrating. Having your hopes up so so high, only to have them crash down over and over again. I just want to get it over with! The stress of knowing shes gong to have this operation next to her brain is nerve wracking. Not knowing when its going to happen in order to mentally prepare is worse! But FINALLY on my Birthday S (scheduler from cochlear team,Only person from the team I've been in contact with all these months) Called and told me 100% we get to move forward!! Yay!!! I cried, She cried, It was a happy bawl fest! LOL! Anyways, we set Celina's surgery date for April 7th! I was told a normal cochlear surgery is about 5 hours. It can be a lot longer for a CHARGE kid due to how messed up and tangled there nerves and anatomy of the ear are. They have done an MRI and know her right side (side being implanted) has the auditory nerve (unlike her left) but wont really know the full scale until they actually open her up. Some CHARGErs go in to surgery and once open and the doctors get a look they are not able to continue due to how messed up it can be. Praying that is not the case for us. Would hate for her to go thru such a major surgery for nothing! Dr. M also is having another Cochlear surgeon come in to help her, just in case once she opens her up there are complications. Makes me feel a little more at ease. Depending on how fast/well Celina heals they will activate her device 2-4 weeks later. Ive been warned not to be expecting an aha! moment from Celina. When they first turn it on they turn it on very very low and Celina may not and probably wont even notice sound. then gradually over a few weeks they slowly turn it up more and more. They do this so its not so overwhelming and scary for the child. Next week we go pick out our device, colors, style, accessories and all that good stuff. Im looking into an FM system for at home. This is like a microphone that I would wear on my shirt that goes directly to Celina's ear. It could also plug into Ipods, phone, TV, Computer things like that. Its not included in with the actual cochlear device so hopefully with the money raised we have enough for this as well.

     I'm nervous and excited for this. I think the excited part speaks for itself, but Im nervous because I don't want this to change her sweet yet sassy nature. I want her to continue to be happy 24/7. (seriously she is the happiest baby I've ever met). I want the surgery to go without a hitch. I want her to not have any of the horrific side effects that can sometime happen. I don't want this to be a mistake. I want to know I made the right decision. I want to continue ASL. I don't want to get lazy with it and lose everything we've gained so far. Because She will still NEED it. No joke. NEED. I want her to not have to suffer any complications from surgery. Most of all I want her to survive it. Sounds morbid but how can that not be in the back of my head? Its constantly worrying me. Lots of thoughts and prayers please.

   This week Celina seems to be sick with something. No fever but getting sick from both ends 😷 and has been very lethargic and sleepy almost all day for 2 days now. Not really wanting to eat either. I bring her in tomorrow so hopefully its something mild. Will update if not. Anyways. I think thats about all Ive got for the moment! So, Until the next one! 🙋

Ambulance Ride

she HATED her Oxygen mask!

Still Happy Even when sick!